The Would-Be Writer

I had read a while ago, that there are different languages of love. They are: words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time and acts of service. While they might sound like something out of those self-help pop psychology; I have found out they are not. Because I seem to have found they are very much accurate. It is imperative to understand why someone like me would even believe in this. Someone who is so sure of what love is and how to love someone. It really isn’t easy, loving someone that is. Loving someone and still keeping your identity intact. If you have read through my posts, all of them that is, you will have realized that I usually lose myself in the person I am with. This time around was different and same to an extent. There was no losing of self, however, there was a sense of finding kindred spirit. Someone who understood who I am as an individual and yet, allowing me to mold into the other person. If your partner is someone whose language of lo...

The night in the shining armor is a lie. You might find him, you might think that the words coming out of his mouth are the truth. But don’t you go being fooled by him and his honey like tongue. While all the stories are of the knight in shining armor, rescuing the princess, there is no truth in that tale. My dear readers, let me recap and tell you of a tale. This tale is an old one, the princess fell in love with the knight in shining armor. He came riding on his white tall stallion, his words were sweet as honey, his smile enchanting as the old wives’ magic. It captured my heart, it stole my breath away and took me on a ride on his strong stallion. But what I didn’t know is the pain that came with riding on that horse. Ever gone to the gym, and tried out every machine available there. While working out, you don’t feel the pain in your muscles. But the next day, you will realize the pain you put your body through. You won’t be able to move. Your breath will catch every time a s...

Ever heard of a girl being extremely racy without being cheap? Ever heard of a guy being considered cheap for being racy? Double standards? Or just how the world works? Well believe it or not, I will not be discussing the double standards tonight. I want to talk about how girls aren’t allowed to be racy or thought of as someone who can have racy thoughts. I hope everybody reading this piece is above 18, because tonight I feel a little bold. Before we really get into it, let me give you a little bit of context to what this is really about. I am not a feminist. Even though I might be schooled about the various definitions of what it means to be a feminist, I have my idea of what I am and what I am not. I am completely and totally old school. Meaning what you might ask then let me tell you, you will have to bear with me for a bit though. So yes, I am a woman, who works, studies, looks after her responsibilities at home, is unmarried, not dying to get married, capable of running her ...

Isn’t life a funny thing, when you have it isn’t valued much. But when you don’t have it, well can’t really speak for the dead. Who knows how much fun they are having. But hang in there with me, while I explain to you why I am talking about it. Currently my grandmother is not well. She has many problems which have now caused her to become bed ridden. She isn’t eating solids, and has to be helped for multiple things. The thing about my grandmother, and why it is so difficult for us (our family) to see her this is, she was the life of all our parties. A woman who was widowed at a very young age, when both her sons were not working/earning. She managed to uproot her family from Islamabad to Karachi, just so she could be closer to her family. She was looking for support, where she got none. She married off two daughters, married one son multiple times (never worked out) and was capable enough of running the whole household herself. From cooking to cleaning to helping her daughters wi...

It’s been a long time. And I have so much going on that I don’t know where to start. But i think I will start by saying that I missed writing. It’s so cathartic that I don’t think I can ever get the same peace from anywhere else. I have been busy with work. I have been busy with travelling. But then that is another story for another time. Right now what I want to write about is love. My posts usually are about love aren’t they? Well I shan’t disappoint you all this time also. I say good riddance to all the bad things that have happened to me due to that one person. I say good riddance to all the insecurity I was under due to that one bad person in my life. I say good riddance to all the doubts that clouded my self-worth due to that one person. And I also say this with all my heart that I hope you find all the happiness you deserve. Since I am happy now, or what I think is happy for me. But what I want to ask you ladies out there is why do we women allow men to over shadow ...

So I’m sitting here at the hospital with parents, and all i van think about is passion. What I’m wondering is whether a girl like me who has lived a sheltered life to an extent id able to find passion. May it be within a marriage or outside of it?  I mean I’m not really touchy about it. But let’s be honest and very open about something, girls in my society; we are not allowed to be open and completely out there. I mean look at it this way. Most of the women don’t even know what will happen on their first wedding night. There is no way they are even aware of what passion really means.   Alright ok most of the things we watch on TV are about passion. But then what is shown in the movies and shows is just lust. Not true passion. Passion, now that’s something to crave, to actually lust after. It is what makes the world go around. There is nothing in this world without the emotion of passion. You are supposed to be passionate about your work, your family and mostly thing...

There is not much to say today. I just felt the need to write. There are so many things happening all at once that I am at a loss as to what to say. Regardless of the maudlin thoughts in my head, the weather is fantastic on my side of the city. It makes me want to dance and jump around. It also makes me want to go to the beach. YUCCKKHHH!!!!! For all the beach lovers out there, I really don’t like the beach at all. There is nothing good about it. I mean the sand, the water, getting wet, getting sandy, all come at the top of my ‘let’s avoid this’ list. However, I’m a romantic at heart, I have always loved going out on rides in such weather. I mean if I could just share this beautiful weather with you all I would feel like I am distributing joy. It is something better than the gloom I spread around daily. But I like to think I am an upbeat person. I don’t usually get upset for long periods of time. Yes, yes, people who have been following my blog (God bless them) would point out ...

You know at my age, very close to 25, you learn a few things in life. The first thing you learn is that you second guess yourself all your life. There is nothing you can do about it. There are major decisions you wish you had a clear path to, a clear defined decision or solution to but you don’t. The second thing you learn is that there are many different kinds of friends around. And the funny thing is you need them. The good and bad all together. Another thing I’ve learned is that there are many different kinds of love. There are so many types of them around which you experience in your life. There’s the love of the family, there is the love of friends, for both these loves you are willing to die and stand up to the worst of situations. Now the third kind of love is the one you find in the opposite sex, or the ones who might find in the same sex. See this is the love we all strive to find. The perfect partner. The one who takes our breath away. That one look which makes you weak in...

So, I'm using this new software which allows me use to my windows to update my blog……. anyways, hello everyone. To all my nonexistent readers out there. Yes I know it has become customary for me to say that even thought I know some people do end up reading my blog. Thank you to all those people I really don’t know what to write today. But I felt like writing. So here goes. well the only thing in mind right now is the fact how marriages are a tricky thing to keep and maintain and sustain. Yes I mean all those words. I mean come on; don’t you think that marriage is about keeping the promises to one another? Isn’t it also about maintaining the relationship for the whole of your life? And isn't it about sustaining the relationship past all the bumps and speed breakers? I think it is…. you might say what does an unmarried chink now about marriage? Well you are writing on that account. I have no personal experience of being married. What I do have is a lot of second hand experience...

Look closely at the title that I have kept for this post, burning all bridges. You might wonder how someone can do that, burn all the bridges. Let me tell you how. In the last 48 hours I have managed to alienate and push everyone I know away. It might sound stupid. It really is not. Let’s start from the beginning. The guy I keep pining about? If you have been reading my blog you will know what I’m talking about. He just refuses to get out of my head. I have been and come out of serious clinical depression because of him. I guess just as there is an age for binge drinking and all, there is an age for bearing loss and companionship. So yes I think I was past that age when he left. His friend, best friend I might add was with me. With me in a weird way. We were friends yet not friend, not a couple. Yes it might sound weird and very bad. Extremely bad I might add. But that’s how it was. So he lied to me and I blew up. According to him it’s alright for him to lie to me because I’m...

Goodmorning to the world that is just waking up, goodnight to the ones who are going to bed and a very Goodevening to the people who are sitting down to dinner... I've been itching to write for the past two days, but I haven't been feeling upto it.... Well here goes:  I read a blog a few days ago about desi relationships. Something of the brown people problems were discussed in it. Coming froma conservative family and having done everything the blog mentioned I can't very well make fun of it. Then again, a person who can joke about themselves can face a lot of things, or so I've read. Relationships in my part of the world are mostly frowned upon...  I'm at an age where the marriage mart is running at full speed and the prospects are running out. It is also the age where life becomes a yad bit hectic as everyone is eyeing you and when you will get married. I hope someone from the west reads this post... I would like them to know that this culture of courting the girl...

Hello, to all the faceless people who might end up reading this. Hello to all those faces who I know might end up reading this. Let me just start by saying things are good. My life has never been boring. It certainly won’t start now will it? Let’s hope it does. Before I go any further, I want to tell this one person, who does read my blog that this blog is in no terms about you. Even a little bit, so please read this with a grain of salt…. And if you need any more help figuring out who I am talking about then let me please give you a hint, ‘The Man 2’. Now, that I have gotten that out of the way let’s talk about what’s been going on. I’m here in Abu Dhabi, UAE. I have come here to say goodbye to this place as a second home. For the past five years, I have had a residence visa of this country. Now however I will have to hand it back to the Arabs. Well no harm in that. The thing is I can’t quite decide whether I should be sad or happy. I have conflicting emotions about this cha...

Hey all, it has been sometime since I wrote anything. In fact, nowadays, these posts are the only things which are the words written by me. For the longest of time, words were my strong suit. There is no doubt about that. They were the only thing going for me. Lately, even speaking has become difficult. I wonder why that is? Could anyone tell what are the reasons a person, perfectly capable of speech, has now started to stutter? I am writing this post at a time when I have nothing else to do. All my friends, my life lines have gone to sleep. Well not all the two who I love the most. They are amazing friends. One is a classmate from when I was in ninth. And counting, that is almost 10 years. We have had our ups and downs, but we always manage to bounce back. The thing about this guy is that he is a bastard. Hahah yes that is the word for him. He is rude, insolent, blunt, and judgmental and a few other rude words I would like to place on him. However, he is a gem of a person...

Two days ago, a stranger praised me on my writing. He had come across my blog and struck up a conversation with me. It was invigorating. Highly stimulating and extremely fun. But what got to me was the fact that he seem to get where I'm coming from in my writing. Very few people actually understand.  He shared a quote with me. It was a very nice one something about people not being able to keep up with what they say.  This post is now being continued on another day  I just can't seem to sleep. What better way to while away the time than to write. People don't understand what the life of an insomniac is like. It's not well. I think I just had a panic attack. I met two new friends. Both are a lot of work. They have very many similar traits. But I like ye one better than the other. I don't know how to explain it. They both are self sufficient, self reliant and believe in making me work towards a goal. They both love criticizing me and irritating me.  But honestly speak...

People who still read my blog, meager in it's existence, thank you for doing so. Well for the some time I have not been able to sleep at night. I sleep at around 6 in the morning and wake up at around 12 in the afternoon. But oh well. My routine has gone to shit. There is no excuse for it. Provided I have good company at night. I have watched around two dozen plus movies this way. I'm being a very good girl and keeping up with my seasons.  It's after midnight and I really want to sleep. But try as I might I can't seem to. Uff this insomnia is tiring me. Plus I have lost all motivation to work. At the moment I'm highly motivated to get married. Yes it sounds very funny. But I am hell serious. Plus my mum is now getting down to serious business about getting me married of to some bloke she seems perfect for me. Let me tell you what's requirements are for the perfect match.  1: He should be taller than me. Meaning if I wear heels he should still be taller than me. ...

Hello peeps..... It's 6:36 on the clock PST. I haven't slept since yesterday. I find this insomnia and lack of sleep bloody irritating, where once I used to take great pride in. It was a big night for Muslims around the world. So like the good girl I try to be, try being the operative word, I prayed and am now fasting.  I find praying and asking my God for things a bit silly. I mean isn't he supposed to know what I want. Well when I asked the adults around me this question, the answer I got was quite simple: prayer is a blessing from my God to me, it allows me to be selfish and ask for what I want rather than He wants to bestow upon me; incase I find He hasn't given me what I want I can complain and ask for more, all the while my good deeds are stacking up simply because I'm allowed to cry and whine.  How amazing is that. Please be rest assured these are my personal views, and I don't intend for anyone to follow or take to heart what I say here. I met this guy r...

Hey all long time no see... Missed you a lot. But things have been happening at my home. My father lost his job, he has been prescribed an operation of his knee (pls pray for him), and my uncle passed away. So it has been a tough week for me. I've been down in the dumps. Now for the good news. My cousin had a baby boy, I finished my bachelors well almost and I made new friends. Throughout all this I only wanted to talk to one person. No one else sufficed. Isn't it silly? I have so many people in my life the. Why do I crave only one person? It's silly stupid and idiotic of me. I gues It wast mistake for being so blind. But we can't do anything about that now. The title of this is dedicated to something that happened today, well lol also cause I'm watching an Indian film 'Boss'. For all those who are not familiar, pls refer to akshay kumar's movie 'Boss'. I'm sure you lot can find in it English subtitles. This movie is hilarious. I can...