Sleepless Yet Again
Hello peeps..... It's 6:36 on the clock PST. I haven't slept since yesterday. I find this insomnia and lack of sleep bloody irritating, where once I used to take great pride in. It was a big night for Muslims around the world. So like the good girl I try to be, try being the operative word, I prayed and am now fasting.
I find praying and asking my God for things a bit silly. I mean isn't he supposed to know what I want. Well when I asked the adults around me this question, the answer I got was quite simple: prayer is a blessing from my God to me, it allows me to be selfish and ask for what I want rather than He wants to bestow upon me; incase I find He hasn't given me what I want I can complain and ask for more, all the while my good deeds are stacking up simply because I'm allowed to cry and whine.
How amazing is that. Please be rest assured these are my personal views, and I don't intend for anyone to follow or take to heart what I say here. I met this guy recently, well we were in class together. I found him to be extremely high strung. Taking care of his body, making sure the women he is with are tested, making graphs of his performance. And it really really bothered me. But one thing which got to me probably not in a bad way, was the fact that he had regular sessions with his therapist.
Who he went to see just so that he had someone to offload on. After the initial psych evaluation, which came up with a a slight OCD, the sessions were for him to talk in a safe environment. It allowed him to be sure what he was talking about stay safe between two people, it relaxed him, he was able to sound off his ideas to an intelligent woman who could reply back intelligently. All this he can do without any retribution and consequences.
I found this to be an inspiration. We all look for outlets to our pain, misery, pent up emotions, love and all other different feelings which race around inside of us. I for one wish that I could talk away my insomnia. It hurts now. This lying awake all day and well into the night. Not being able to figure out why I can't sleep. It is starting to annoy the shit out of me. I mean I love sleeping. So where is it now??? People reading this post should help me out with a solution to this problem.
Till then take babe
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