Shaadi ya Azaadi
So, I'm using this new software which allows me use to my windows to update my blog……. anyways, hello everyone. To all my nonexistent readers out there. Yes I know it has become customary for me to say that even thought I know some people do end up reading my blog. Thank you to all those people 
I really don’t know what to write today. But I felt like writing. So here goes. well the only thing in mind right now is the fact how marriages are a tricky thing to keep and maintain and sustain. Yes I mean all those words. I mean come on; don’t you think that marriage is about keeping the promises to one another? Isn’t it also about maintaining the relationship for the whole of your life? And isn't it about sustaining the relationship past all the bumps and speed breakers? I think it is…. you might say what does an unmarried chink now about marriage? Well you are writing on that account. I have no personal experience of being married. What I do have is a lot of second hand experience. I also have the experience of being with one guy for half of my life. Another thing under my belt is the relationship which nearly ended me. So, yes getting back to the topic of marriage. I think being married is the start of the whole of your life. There are two chapters in a person’s life, one where they are unmarried and the other where they are married. People may disagree with this view of mine. But then that is the beauty of being a writer. I really don’t have to think about the whole world and their opinions. So what really has brought this on? I have been living with my grandparents for the last two weeks now. I get to sit with my dadi (grandmother) and talk about life and everything under the sun. So what we usually get around to talking is what marriage is all about. My grandmother went through a lot of shit to raise her kids (8 kids) and still live with their husband who used be a police officer. And he wasn’t very educated. But he managed to give his kids everything. To a point where they are all educated in the best of the schools and now have no need of anything other than knowing their parents are with them. Yes shade is one of the most testing things to do. Yet the whole world wants to do it. Why? It has one very simple reason; every human being craves companionship and wants to have kids at some point in their life. Yes it is hell sometimes, but I have so many examples in front of me, that I can’t disregard the magic of companionship. What I really want to talk about is the fact how people don’t give marriage the proper goes. How divorce rates are going up. Also how simple things such as money and living in a joint family manages to cause the marriage to end. According to my very wise dadi amma it is because the parents nowadays don’t teach both their sons and daughters to see through the trouble they might be facing. I mean I had a friend couple, where the girl didn’t want to live in a joint family. Now the guy couldn’t bear the expense of living on his own at the time. In the end she cheated on him with her very established boss. Broke the poor guy’s heart. I have another friend couple who just couldn’t bear the pressure of being married and got divorced. They didn’t know it would be this different from when they were in a relationship. I mean dude come on…… people have to get through this selfish behavior of just thinking about themselves. Once married people are responsible for a lot of other people and their happiness. There is nothing in this world which you can do and then try to fix it. I mean divorce has an adverse effect on everyone involved in the process. I have seen couples weather the worst of storms and still stay together just because they think getting a divorce is like giving up. A couple I know worked through their shit after the husband cheated on his wife with another woman. He was living with her and spending time with this woman. But the wife stuck it through and managed to save the relationship. I believe in fighting for relationships. No matter what it is? Unless the husband or the wife just aren't happy and can’t at any cost stay in the marriage; can they get a divorce? Until then there is no point.
I really don’t know what to write today. But I felt like writing. So here goes. well the only thing in mind right now is the fact how marriages are a tricky thing to keep and maintain and sustain. Yes I mean all those words. I mean come on; don’t you think that marriage is about keeping the promises to one another? Isn’t it also about maintaining the relationship for the whole of your life? And isn't it about sustaining the relationship past all the bumps and speed breakers? I think it is…. you might say what does an unmarried chink now about marriage? Well you are writing on that account. I have no personal experience of being married. What I do have is a lot of second hand experience. I also have the experience of being with one guy for half of my life. Another thing under my belt is the relationship which nearly ended me. So, yes getting back to the topic of marriage. I think being married is the start of the whole of your life. There are two chapters in a person’s life, one where they are unmarried and the other where they are married. People may disagree with this view of mine. But then that is the beauty of being a writer. I really don’t have to think about the whole world and their opinions. So what really has brought this on? I have been living with my grandparents for the last two weeks now. I get to sit with my dadi (grandmother) and talk about life and everything under the sun. So what we usually get around to talking is what marriage is all about. My grandmother went through a lot of shit to raise her kids (8 kids) and still live with their husband who used be a police officer. And he wasn’t very educated. But he managed to give his kids everything. To a point where they are all educated in the best of the schools and now have no need of anything other than knowing their parents are with them. Yes shade is one of the most testing things to do. Yet the whole world wants to do it. Why? It has one very simple reason; every human being craves companionship and wants to have kids at some point in their life. Yes it is hell sometimes, but I have so many examples in front of me, that I can’t disregard the magic of companionship. What I really want to talk about is the fact how people don’t give marriage the proper goes. How divorce rates are going up. Also how simple things such as money and living in a joint family manages to cause the marriage to end. According to my very wise dadi amma it is because the parents nowadays don’t teach both their sons and daughters to see through the trouble they might be facing. I mean I had a friend couple, where the girl didn’t want to live in a joint family. Now the guy couldn’t bear the expense of living on his own at the time. In the end she cheated on him with her very established boss. Broke the poor guy’s heart. I have another friend couple who just couldn’t bear the pressure of being married and got divorced. They didn’t know it would be this different from when they were in a relationship. I mean dude come on…… people have to get through this selfish behavior of just thinking about themselves. Once married people are responsible for a lot of other people and their happiness. There is nothing in this world which you can do and then try to fix it. I mean divorce has an adverse effect on everyone involved in the process. I have seen couples weather the worst of storms and still stay together just because they think getting a divorce is like giving up. A couple I know worked through their shit after the husband cheated on his wife with another woman. He was living with her and spending time with this woman. But the wife stuck it through and managed to save the relationship. I believe in fighting for relationships. No matter what it is? Unless the husband or the wife just aren't happy and can’t at any cost stay in the marriage; can they get a divorce? Until then there is no point.
There's a very thin line between Shadi and Barbadi.
ReplyDeleteTrue there is, very few know how to maintain that line though
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