The Would-Be Writer

At this moment in time, my head hurts, the things I’m hearing right now. They are out of this world. This world is a shitty place. People just like using other people. No one and I mean no one would want to be with someone who lies and cheats. How is someone justified in being with two people at the same time? There is no explanation. You can’t love two people at the same time. If you can’t seem to give one or the other up, than that is on you. And you aren’t in love with either of them. It is just that you like having those two hanging on to you. You are the sort of person who gives hope to other people. So like I said in one of my previous posts. You should know your mind. Any arrangements that you think that you have, might not exactly be an arrangement. It might you taking the person along for a ride. Yes I am rambling. This is the page where I get to ramble. So people who might not like what I am saying, should leave. I know I’m sorry I’m usually such a jerk. And I usual...

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Just yesterday I thought would make me believe in love. I feel sick sort of. like I'm at the brink of something and I am sure that I will fall off the cliff. I know, sounds dramatic. however, i kid you not. there is nothing in this world that i would like than to cuddle up with my book and coffee and a good rain.  i mean it might not be something you might like. but hey this is what rings my bell. i feel so lost and adrift that it isn't even a joke any more. there is nothing that i want but peace. see the thing is, that i wanted to stay away from all this junk. honestly, single life rocks. as I have learned over the last four years. i think this post will suck ass (mind my language, i don't cuss much even here on this blog).  in the morning all i could think about was that no matter i have been through, i have always believed in love. you see, there is nothing wrong with me. the only thing wrong is i am too cynical now. there is not much i haven't seen. i have h...

Hi All, Alright so that spelling and grammar will be a bit shitty. since I am typing in a hurry and also not using Word to further make me feel stupid. I just felt the need to pen down these thoughts running in my head. since I am going crazy with them. What I have been wondering lately is whether people come into our lives to just fuck it up. I mean you should come into someone's life to be there. and if you aren't there to stay for a long time, then just clear it in the beginning dude. I mean c'mon we aren't kids anymore. We know what we want, we should be at such an understanding of ourselves that we should understand the impact we may have on other people. I mean come on, are you telling me that you don't know how someone might react to your mean words. Are you honestly asking me to believe that if a girl is spending time with you, she isn't getting attached to you. Are you honestly that dense that you don't understand the small cues and inflectio...

It’s been a long time. And I have so much going on that I don’t know where to start. But i think I will start by saying that I missed writing. It’s so cathartic that I don’t think I can ever get the same peace from anywhere else. I have been busy with work. I have been busy with travelling. But then that is another story for another time. Right now what I want to write about is love. My posts usually are about love aren’t they? Well I shan’t disappoint you all this time also. I say good riddance to all the bad things that have happened to me due to that one person. I say good riddance to all the insecurity I was under due to that one bad person in my life. I say good riddance to all the doubts that clouded my self-worth due to that one person. And I also say this with all my heart that I hope you find all the happiness you deserve. Since I am happy now, or what I think is happy for me. But what I want to ask you ladies out there is why do we women allow men to over shadow ...

So I’m sitting here at the hospital with parents, and all i van think about is passion. What I’m wondering is whether a girl like me who has lived a sheltered life to an extent id able to find passion. May it be within a marriage or outside of it?  I mean I’m not really touchy about it. But let’s be honest and very open about something, girls in my society; we are not allowed to be open and completely out there. I mean look at it this way. Most of the women don’t even know what will happen on their first wedding night. There is no way they are even aware of what passion really means.   Alright ok most of the things we watch on TV are about passion. But then what is shown in the movies and shows is just lust. Not true passion. Passion, now that’s something to crave, to actually lust after. It is what makes the world go around. There is nothing in this world without the emotion of passion. You are supposed to be passionate about your work, your family and mostly thing...

There is not much to say today. I just felt the need to write. There are so many things happening all at once that I am at a loss as to what to say. Regardless of the maudlin thoughts in my head, the weather is fantastic on my side of the city. It makes me want to dance and jump around. It also makes me want to go to the beach. YUCCKKHHH!!!!! For all the beach lovers out there, I really don’t like the beach at all. There is nothing good about it. I mean the sand, the water, getting wet, getting sandy, all come at the top of my ‘let’s avoid this’ list. However, I’m a romantic at heart, I have always loved going out on rides in such weather. I mean if I could just share this beautiful weather with you all I would feel like I am distributing joy. It is something better than the gloom I spread around daily. But I like to think I am an upbeat person. I don’t usually get upset for long periods of time. Yes, yes, people who have been following my blog (God bless them) would point out ...

It’s been a long time since I put pen to paper. Today is the last day of the year 2014. It was only last year on the same day that I gave my heart away. It was also 2 months later that I got my heart broken. This was the year; I learned the extent of mental and physical pain I could bear. It was this year, learned that pain is an integral part of life. This year saw me becoming a woman, from a girl. Not in any sexual sense. Just in a way where I have felt myself grow in terms of how I think and view the world. Regardless, something’s don’t change. I've learned that external factors have a major role in how your life pans out. There is nothing anyone can do to help you, if it isn't meant to be. People have come and gone. But I've survived through the pain of it all. Over the years, I never thought that I could endure what I believe is the worst pain I've been through so far. Things are still hard; I still haven’t been able to figure out a lot of things, that I sinc...