The Would-Be Writer

Hey all.  I know its been long but bear with me. I just started reading again. So i started with 49 Rules of Love. Its a good book so far. The mystery, the hints of Rumi, the mention of love and the conflicted heroine: are all too much for me to miss out on.  I used to be someone who devoured books. On a daily basis might I add. Then we came to the age where our phones had mini libraries in them. So i switched to Scribd and other such apps. But believe me when i say. The true hit of reading a book comes from when you hold a hard copy in your hands, lie in bed, have a mug of strong coffee or green tea next to you and read. Read until your eyes start burning but you are unable to put the book down.  This book today, with all its mention of journey and paths and destiny and fate; made me think of my own. The age old question: what exactly have i been put on Earth to achieve, what exactly is in my fate, am i capable of making my own fate, popped into my head. And for the firs...

Over the last year or so, I had put on some weight. Even though I felt the weight, it didnt really bother me. I was fine with myswlf being the way I am. This is because I had promised myself a long time ago, that no matter what I would always be happy with who I am.  I had promised myself, that no matter what anyone said, I would be ok. Its funny how such declarations dont matter when its parents pulling you down. I mean i was chubby but never fat fat. I wasnt someone who could roll off of things. And it never really mattered to me how fat i was since i wasnt here to show off or care.  It started slowly. The taunts. The hints about my weight. The gradual nagging of how my clothes didnt fit anymore. It was a daily battle with my mom. Dont eat this , Don't eat that. I had bad eating habits. Things like girls look better if they are smart and slim.  It was a daily thing. I started to get concious about who i was and how i looked. No matter what i did, it wasnt good enough fo...

Yes I know it has been some time since j ranted your ears off with my musings. But I have been busy with work and family and just myself. So breathe a little I am back.  I was chatting with a friend of mine regarding someone I know. Yes we all do it don't feel scandalized. And I was trying to figure out why I am having the problems I'm having with this person. And i finally realized, it is because they are a big fish in a small pond.  Yes my readers i am using an age old adage. Is adage the right word or is it a proverb. Alright lets just call it a saying. That big fish in a small pond will no matter what, always be smaller compared to the fish in the ocean.  I kid you not when u say, that a lot of people may talk the talk but aren't able to walk the walk. Haaa aren't i just brimming with sayings and proverbs and what not today. So yes, what it means is that at the end of the day a lot of people might sag alot of things, but they are not able to back it up with action....

Hey all.  I know it's late in the night, but this is when I do my best thinking. All my thoughts are running around in my head and writing all this down feels good.  It's almost been forty days since my grandfather passed away. And I still can't seem to come to grips with it. My life is still moving on, the world is revolving, but there is still something missing.  I don't think anyone can ever fill that space up. He was a gem of a person and I'm honestly trying to make him proud. I am going to fulfill all the dreams he ever had for me.  Throughout my life I have had people looking out for me. And one by one I lost those people. But I learned a lot from them. I learnt how never to let other people know your weaknesses from my ex. I learnt how never to forget Allah from my grandfather. I learnt how to always keep a poker face on infront of others from my dad. I learnt how to always keep an open mind from my mother. I learnt to cook from both my grandmothers. I learnt...

This date holds great importance to me as of this year. It's the day my beloved grandfather passed away. He was fine in the morning and he passed away on his way to the hospital. He always prayed for a painless death and that's exactly how he went.  It might sound morbid, but a painless death is the best thing Allah can grant you, out of the many blessings. He just went, and I still can't believe it. My younger sister told me to be strong and calm about things. That's what everyone told me. Be calm Daariya pray for him.  While all the while I just wanted to scream and cry out for the pain I felt in every part of my body.  He was an amazing man. And I hate inserting a past tense while talking about him. He was my hero my idol and the man from whom I learnt a lot. He always always had his pride and dignity. He was my super hero.  He was a police man. Worked all his life to give his kids a good enough education to make something of themselves. Married two daughters and ...

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS!!!! I hope you all ended your 2015 on a high note and that you have lots of ambitions to fulfil in 2016. I would like to let you all know that I personally don't believe in this resolution lark. why? I will tell you. because people don't change over night right. also it isn't easy to let go of the routine you have set in over the last year.  what i do believe in are goals. people need to set goals for themselves. it is very important to have goals. i mean what use is the end of the year, where you cant measure all that you have achieved.  i personally think that i have achieved quite alot this year. most important thing that i have achieved is the manner in which I handle my shit now. also that i have removed all unnecessary people from my life. i mean what's the point of baggage.  my 2015 was fun, sad, happy, exciting, a year of firsts, tiring, exhausting and last but not the least, it was full of love and support. i cant tell you ...