The Would-Be Writer

Sitting at the conference table, during a meeting, looking around at everyone sitting there and finally realizing that you are alone. In a meeting of around 10 people, you are completely and totally alone. There is no one you can look towards and smile. You know the smile I’m talking about, the smile of recognition, the smile of knowing someone is there with you. That is what was missing today. It was one of the biggest meetings of my life, and I felt completely out of sorts and a stranger throughout it all. Like a complete interloper. I realize I have always written when things are not going well for me, or when I’m low. But I would like to point out, what good is a pen and paper, when you are feeling completely alone and miserable. So move on if you do not want to read a whiny post. Ever had that feeling that you are completely alone in a crowd, even when there are people around? I feel that a lot. Everyone will be talking, laughing and enjoying the surroundings, and I will get t...

So aj mai sab kuch urdu mai likhu gi. Zara mood nahi English mai baat karne ka. Actually this is how I think… Alternating between urdu and English. Khair aj I just wanted to check in with my peeps. There is only one thing on my mind. Aj kal ke loog inteha ke kute hote hain. Yes people who know me will tell you ke mai galiaya nahi deti. But the situation calls for that. I have only one question, wo mard kya kehlate hian jo aik aurat ko uske paise wapis dene ke lia rulate hian? I mean what are they known as? is it a special breed? Cause I would like to know. Ke aise bando ki gairat kahan ghas charne chali jati hai? Matlab paise mere, investment meri aur bharam ap dikhao…… I really want to know where this happens. So basically let me give you all a little insigt as to whats happening. I had this friend, who borrowed some money from me. And uske baad uske sath mai ne paise invest bhy kardia the. And now, I want my money back. The douche bag isn’t prepared to transfer the amount via Weste...

Please don't be scared with the title, I have no idea what to title my post today. So much has been going on. And I just needed some space to breathe. Thus the post today.  I am in immense denial!!! I am avoiding all the different issues which I have to face. And once again I'm going to sound like a broken record. But I miss him. Every minute of every day of the past four months. I hate it.  I have completely shut my mind down. And even then the bitch of the memories. Keep coming back. Things have become so distorted inside my mind that I don't even know what to do.  And I wish I could have someone who could seperate the things. Because my mind has made a huge mush of things. And I hate it!!! There is no other way of saying it. The movies don't distract me, the books don't help. Nothing helps anymore. And it's kind of made a mess of things for me.  I know for a fact that I didn't mean shit. What could I have to offer to someone so amazing. But I'm not th...

Its been some time ago since I had to really think about something like this: breaking up. We human beings need to be surrounded by relations at all times. There is not a moment when a person would want to be alone and without people to care for them.  Apart from being married, another relationship title which is a huge thing is being a couple. Romantically involved as some would say.  Well these relationships are a land mine. This is not a bitter realization which I suddenly came across, no, this has been in my head since I was old enough to acknowledge things around me. Till now through life all I have learned is that relationships are not as easy as they look on the outside.  It's true that while a marriage is hard to break, a romantic relationship is much easier. Couples might spend years and years together and still not get married. While some couples might be together for only a short period of time and decide to get hitched.  While making a relationship w...