Welcome Back

It’s been a long time. And I have so much going on that I don’t know where to start. But i think I will start by saying that I missed writing. It’s so cathartic that I don’t think I can ever get the same peace from anywhere else.

I have been busy with work. I have been busy with travelling. But then that is another story for another time. Right now what I want to write about is love. My posts usually are about love aren’t they? Well I shan’t disappoint you all this time also.

I say good riddance to all the bad things that have happened to me due to that one person. I say good riddance to all the insecurity I was under due to that one bad person in my life. I say good riddance to all the doubts that clouded my self-worth due to that one person.

And I also say this with all my heart that I hope you find all the happiness you deserve. Since I am happy now, or what I think is happy for me. But what I want to ask you ladies out there is why do we women allow men to over shadow us. How do we let them come into our lives in such a way that we never want to let them go. No matter what mistake they make? How do we end up being so stupid?

I think it is because our greatest strength is our greatest weakness. Don’t they say your are as weak as your strongest link. I never used to get that now I do. Its surprising how far I have come along. I never thought I could be like this. I know I have always had the potential but how could I have been so blind. The people around me, they weren’t wrong. They were right about me. I could do whatever I put my mind to.

However, I was living under the shadow of a man. This man wanted nothing more than to leech off of me in any and every way possible. So I let him. because I was in love. There is this one quote, where they say that you should fall in love with your eyes wide open. But I fell in love blindly. However, by the end of it I was wide awake. Infarct my eyes had opened so much so that I feared for them sticking around in my sockets.

Dear readers, men and women everywhere, however small amount of audience I have. Please let it be known that trying to keep a relationship going should only happen when you are married. Not before that. I learned it the hard way. A husband might want to stay, thinking of all the responsibilities. He might think of everything he has done, everything you have done and might stay.

But then again it’s a marriage. A relationship with nothing holding it together might not be worth the fight. Atleast I am of the opinion now that if someone doesn’t want to stick around, you shouldn’t force them. But aaahhhh here is where the problem is, these guys don’t want to let go also. Probably we are the bloody cows of nature. And we do everything asked of us without any questions.

To all the ladies who keep their men on a short leash, I salute you. Well not a good one, just a halfhearted one. Since I know some of my friends have been hurt badly by such women. So I won’t completely condone their behavior. However, I will commend you for keeping your man with you even when you are withholding lots of things from them. And I personally think a woman in love never holds back. She lets it loose and let’s go of any and all barriers in her way.

i think I suddenly ran out of steam for this rant. But that’s a good thing no? I am so tired of learning things which end up hurting me. I mean where my time is. I thought what goes around comes around. Where is my day in the sun. I ask for everyone who thinks its fate. I just met this guy, who is amazing, Younger than me by a year, But amazing nonetheless. But he is damn difficult. He turned cold as Siberia towards me because he was upset and I wanted to make him feel alright. As per his estimation, I was encroaching on personal space.

I mean hello? who does that? And on top of that he doesn’t want to let me go. He has put sort of an embargo on me on showing affection. I mean how someone can hold back their affection. I would never be able to do that. But then I think I am a wimp. There is no limit to my being led by my heart. There is also the matter of distance. I always manage to find the completely wrong men for myself.

But for once I will not let this man come in my way of my life. If he wants to stick around then he can show me he wants to stick around. Otherwise, he’s welcome to have the pick of the lot. And why should I doubt my self-worth. Neither should any other woman out there. We go through a lot of shit as it is. Why put ourselves through shit that is of our own making.