The Would-Be Writer

There have been a few posts in which I talk about my fuzzy bunnies. They have died. A very painful, death. You might think fuzzy bunnies are something which can conjured up with the right amount of motivation. However, this might come as a surprise. It is difficult, it is painful and excruciating. Honestly speaking, I miss my fuzzy bunnies. It is important for me to have my fuzzy bunnies. While writing this post, I just realized, fuzzy bunnies are trademarked. I miss a special type of fuzzy bunnies. The one that creep up on you. There are so many people who might not understand this. So let me break it down for you. Each person has a base line body temperature, which is specific to them only. When they meet someone who has a baseline temperature which complements theirs, the body reacts to it. For example a simple act of hugging becomes extremely satisfying and relaxing. Just a disclaimer, these are purely personal opinions and ideas. A misconception might also be that fuzzy b...

You know what happens when there is fear in your brain…. Your fight or flight reaction stimulus is activated. We have heard this, over the years again and again and again. But do you recognize it when it is happening? Honestly though tell me, do you? What happens first, when you fear something is you become extremely susceptible to overthinking. Your brain automatically makes up scenarios of the worst possible thing that could happen. These scenarios then become extremely large in your brain. It makes your brain hurt. Next comes the paranoia. This paranoia makes it difficult for you to think straight. Anything which can be said to you is not looked at rationally. You become irrational and everything happening is treated with the same thought. Irrationally: the world is out to get me sort of thoughts start popping into your head. Then comes the decision making time. This is when you have to take either a fight action or a flight action. This is to my readers, think for a second...

It isn’t fair, how you care for people, and get nothing in return. So many of you will stand up and say, but why expect from someone, when you know people are callous. But then I like to reiterate that hey if you care for someone, you hope to God that they notice and will keep that in mind. Through the many years of my life, yes I say many because that’s what it feels like, I have noticed that relationships may it be platonic, romantic or familial ones, always are somehow one sided. It always makes me wonder why? How is it possible for someone to care about people and not get anything in return? I believe in giving till the end.  Recently, well not really I have come to a conclusion, that no matter what I do, it won’t ever be enough for someone who wants to be aloof and uncaring. So I came up with a solution, which was to adopt a scorched earth like policy. This policy entails that there will come moments, when at the end of the day I will have had enough. And on those days...

Look closely at the title that I have kept for this post, burning all bridges. You might wonder how someone can do that, burn all the bridges. Let me tell you how. In the last 48 hours I have managed to alienate and push everyone I know away. It might sound stupid. It really is not. Let’s start from the beginning. The guy I keep pining about? If you have been reading my blog you will know what I’m talking about. He just refuses to get out of my head. I have been and come out of serious clinical depression because of him. I guess just as there is an age for binge drinking and all, there is an age for bearing loss and companionship. So yes I think I was past that age when he left. His friend, best friend I might add was with me. With me in a weird way. We were friends yet not friend, not a couple. Yes it might sound weird and very bad. Extremely bad I might add. But that’s how it was. So he lied to me and I blew up. According to him it’s alright for him to lie to me because I’m...

Hello all, it seems longer than just three days since my last post. It seems that everything is happening slowly and extremely fast. I don't even remember how far away was 3 days away. So much has happened that I don't know how to and where to begin from. There came a time when it hurt to even listen to music. But let's all revert back to the age old adage of life moves on. I think that it is a shit saying. People who say that to people who are hurting should be hit over the head with something hard.  This post was written a while back and I am going to continue it today..... The line of thought is not the same but close enough  Moving on is hard. But it has to be done. As mentioned above, people who say move on or time heals all wounds should be hit over the head. But alas I can't go around hitting everyone on the head. I have realized that no one in this world could hurt me more than I have been allowed myself to get by another human being.  I have no idea what the di...

I think my last post was similar to this one . But I can't help it. There are so many things which make the life of a person happy, but only a small thing can make someone sad. I havn't been able to get out of bed, move around, or work. Yea I'm a sap. I suck and life moves on. Sooo easy to say, but hard to do. So anyone who is planning on saying please move on, I would like to ask them to walk a mile in my shoes.  I'm sure there have been people who have had it worse, dead spouses, dead parents, dead siblings, I think there is nothing worse than death. There is no one on this earth.... People just don't get it..... But right now I feel pretty close to it. I don't know if the person this post is about will be able to read it, or want to read it, but I really don't care.  I honestly don't think he is concerned about my hurt. Otherwise I would have had a hug, would have been able to ease my pain by knowing the person I'm crying for shares my pain. But I...