The Would-Be Writer

Something happened today. A sort of good thing, and when I hung up the phone, my instant reaction was to pick up my phone and make a call. I wanted to tell my person the news. But in a flash I realized that I couldn’t because I didn’t have him anymore. How pathetic? Right? So I did the next possible thing I could think of, which was to call my best friend and tell her. It made me extremely wretched to think how close I had come to actually making the call. Its funny isn’t it one minute there is a person in your life you tell everything to. The next that person has completely disappeared for you. How funny life is… funnier still are emotions. I suddenly had an image of a black ground, with slight fog lower to the ground. This image quite possibly could be the graveyard of memories I have. I will slowly, one by one, have to bury them all. This one particular graveyard will be large. It might possibly be the largest yet. It might possibly be the most visited. Where in my quite mome...

So what do you do when relationships end. What specifically do you do when your friendships end? What do you do when you see someone who you have given something to and they carelessly hand it over to someone? To me even if the relationship ended on bad terms, anything and everything handed to me as a gift should be kept as such. A gift from someone who you once cared about. What should be your reaction when you see they have handed it to someone carelessly. Is it an act of contempt, hate, or is it just something you let go of and never look back on? At the end of the day what should be your reaction. Should we ask for our things back? Or is it alright to have them handed about and bandied in your face. See relationships are fragile, yes they break, yes they might not be long lasting. But what I believe is that you don’t insult the other person by such petty acts. Or is it human nature to separate yourself from all that is a reminder of them? Whatever the reason is, I would lik...

Please don't be scared with the title, I have no idea what to title my post today. So much has been going on. And I just needed some space to breathe. Thus the post today.  I am in immense denial!!! I am avoiding all the different issues which I have to face. And once again I'm going to sound like a broken record. But I miss him. Every minute of every day of the past four months. I hate it.  I have completely shut my mind down. And even then the bitch of the memories. Keep coming back. Things have become so distorted inside my mind that I don't even know what to do.  And I wish I could have someone who could seperate the things. Because my mind has made a huge mush of things. And I hate it!!! There is no other way of saying it. The movies don't distract me, the books don't help. Nothing helps anymore. And it's kind of made a mess of things for me.  I know for a fact that I didn't mean shit. What could I have to offer to someone so amazing. But I'm not th...

It's said that anything that goes down in history, everything which is written about, talked about ages after it has happened; is the simple act of immotarlising that thing. I think that it's true what they say. But how does someone know that talking about something again and again won't ruin the actual feel of the event?  Does talking and thinking about something full the exhilaration felt in rethinking simple moments? As I listen to a very old song mundiya to Bach ke rahi amazing oldie RDB, I realize that the feeling we get from memories don't go away. Honestly!! The sweetness of hearing that first I love you. The amazing thrill of holding hands for the first time, it doesn't go away.  At this very minute I'm reliving my most poignant moment; hearing that I love you I had been waiting patiently for. For a second I had forgotten to answer worrying 'the person'. But I couldn't help it!! Honestly, I fell quite savoring those three words like my life d...