The Would-Be Writer

The sounds I hear, day in and day out. I wish they would just go silent. Completely quite, so that I could hear what my mind and heart are really saying to me. Because with the clutter of sounds reaching my ears, my own voices gets muffled. Its like my voices, the one from the brain and the one from the heart, get drowned by all the sounds I hear, day in and day out. Should there be a button you could press and mute the sounds of the world? Or better yet, shouldn’t your own voices, both of them be loud and clear enough that nothing drowns them out. I don’t think that it is possible for a human being to manage or better yet, let’s call it accomplish. There are so many things, I think I would want to say to myself, if I could ever hear myself clearly. But how can human beings, attuned to hearing others out, not hear them. Correction, I have learnt, not everyone hears the people around them out. People like to hear only themselves, but are they really. Or is it years and years ...

People surprise you. That is one true constant fact that I have found out through the many years of my life, 30 to be exact. By the way I love knowing that I am 30 now. The feeling of being at an age where most things start to make sense is a good place to be. Penning down my thoughts has always been a thing for me. When my mind can’t stop speaking or running at a fast neck speed, I write. I haven’t written in sometime though. Because I seem to have found another canvas to paint with my thoughts and my words. And what a canvas this has been, it’s got new pages, there are some colors which turn out one way on it, and there are areas of that canvas I haven’t even gotten to yet. But since the time this canvas has come into my life, there is always something new to paint on it. I am a completely word person, well a word person which needs to be shown through actions what the words actually mean. I was once told, by a very close friend that there are probably very few people in thi...

To all the guys out there who pushed me down, I got up. To all the boys who broke my trust, I still kept my faith. To all the guys who didn’t look back, I moved on. To each and everyone of you who thought I’d break down, I stood up and fought.  You might think or probably not think about how much of an impact your words make. You all might not know the strength it takes to hold on. Or you might not realise the bits and pieces that I pick up time and time again.  Believe me when I say that all of that just builds me up. Time and time again I realise my strength. I find what I’m made of. I understand a new part of me I didn’t know existed. There are so many of these small storied, encounters that just chip away at my faith in humanity.  Time and time again I wonder if it is all worth it. The pain, the tears, and the sorrow. And then I realise that I am a fighter. I always choose the fight out of fight or flight. Life may just not be ready to give me what I want. Or probably...

Over the course of my short short life, there has been one consistent behaviour I have had: to give love with all my heart. My dear readers, however small in number you are, thank you for always sticking around to read these musings of mine.  I have had so many people come into my life that I have finally lost count. I don’t wish to keep count anymore also. Because I have finally come to the conclusion: I am what should matter to me. I am in no way capable of influencing someone’s decisions.  But then again, why should I even try to influence someone’s decision? No one in this world is perfect, it is just how hard you are willing to work on yourself and your interactions with others. Or am I just an 80 year old in the body of a well kept 28 year old?  Reflecting internally is something I pride myself in doing continuously. I always hear people out who have been around for an extended time period. Why not put it to good use? Some things I have been able to achieve; like my...

As I wander through the streets of my city, I see the many many different lives that I don’t have an inkling about. These people are mere strangers to me. Our paths might cross or I might never even know of their existsnce.  They are on a path which might interact, intersect with mine. Yet there is no clarity on the matter. People end up meeting in the most chance manner possible. Chance encounters which might turn into one of the best ones of your life, or come through and pass by like the wind.  Funny isn’t it? How life happens, the complete and utter randomness of a situation could hit you later in life. But human beings are also funny. We like to plan, plot, devise and control fate. We through our lives and others’ never learn that we have no control. It is complete and utter bullshit.  The silly little things that make up your life, the good and bad moments, all combined to unfold slowly minute by minute. And why guess about the future? This question I ask because wh...

My journey has not been a significant one. But journeys seldom are. There can’t be a good or a bad journey, because my faith allows me to believe in Karma. It allows me to believe in the balance of power of the good and bad. It is yet to be determined whether this journey is a good or a bad one.  Yet so far, I have made peace with my journey. There have been tears, mind you, lots and lots of them. There have been laughters; loud, raunchy out of control ones. Where you don’t even know what’s funny anymore. My journey has been thus far, a truly remarkable one. Where I can stand tall and stand proud that there is nothing for me to be ashamed of.  Walk a mile in my shoes and you will know that the building blocks had to be stacked. They had to be built and stacked again and again. Whether it be a storm or a clear nights sky; this  journey has been a remarkable one. It has taught me the things I pride myself most in.  I know how to love, oh yes my friends. Don’t take that...