The Devil in Disguise

The ending was infront of me. Possibly just around the corner. My dreams were coming true, finally. After all the waiting, all the crying, the pain, all of the bad. All my dreams were actually coming true. Things were going in the right direction. I was happy. I was excited. I couldn’t wait for the beginning the rest of my life with the one person I had slowly come to imagine in my mind.

It was a normal day, as any other. It ended in an issue, which turned into a fight. Which turned my world upside down. In a day. It possibly took around five minutes for everything to go to shit. There are times when I wonder what it is about me that makes it so difficult for people to stick around. But this time around, I knew that I couldn’t have had done anything more than I did.

How do you think a girl who is willing to compromise with everything possible, feels after that?? There is nothing wrong with cold feet, there is for sure something wrong with an egoistic reaction. When we were young, everything in the world would seem so simple and magical. Everything seemed like it was working on its own magically. The relations we saw, the interactions we saw.

As we grow older we realize it isn’t magic, it is actual work which has been put into those interactions, those relationships. I am a true believer of making things work. I honestly believe that every relationship, whether parents, siblings, friends, and or acquaintances. They all take work. Actual hard work, day in and day out. I have yet to see a marriage which succeeds without the contribution of both the partners.

It doesn’t matter what the difference is between them. The partners that is. The difference doesn’t matter, the ups and downs don’t matter. What really matters is the hard work, commitment, love and respect you have for one another. If you can’t trust your partners’ word, who else are you going to believe in in this world?? Are they really then in the real sense of the word your partner? I don’t honestly think so.

I think that for a man or a woman to be together, it is essential for them both to choose each other day in and day out. Even when the two are fighting, knowing that it’s the two of you against the problem, makes it a little better. What sort of man would you say backs out of his word after repeatedly saying he won’t???

Would you term him a coward? Would you term him an idiot? What would you call him is my question. What then would you do with everything that has transpired between you two? All the hopes, the dreams, the ideas? What do you do with all of that. How do you let go of it? Is it even worth it crying for a man who couldn’t really stick by you. Who made you think you were less then who you are? What is wrong with wanting your partner to want to fight for you?

What more could a girl want then for her supposed man to stick by her? To support her through the tough times. All a girl wants is really for a man to stick by his word. To ensure that he is there standing supporting her. Isn’t that what a relationship is all about? Isn’t that what a partnership is all about? Standing by each other, propping each other up when the other is down. How do you then get past the whole I want you so much that I want to spend my life with you.

Spending your life with someone isn’t easy. I don’t understand how someone can be bragging about being my partner one day and the next alright with us not being together at all. There needs to be a little bit of accountability for someone’s word.