The Early Bird

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I have an exam in exactly 2 hours.... And all I can do is stare at my text book and think about last night. A few months ago I promised myself I would never let any man make me feel the way I felt last night. And thanks to another person, I let all the doubts which I had kept away come into my mind. I am so lost, and I know for a fact that I'm a mess. 
I don't know what to do. Last night I cried myself to sleep. That isn't a good thing. I had thought I left all of that behind. But I guess old dogs never learn new tricks. Over the years I thought I had grown up and become mature. But I guess I havn't. I'm the same old stupid idiotic me. 
I really don't know where to go from here I wish I could have one of those thingies.... You know the ones featured in Harry Potter books, where Dumbledore is able to siphon his memories and thoughts into a stone basin. I wish I had that. So I could ease and relieve my mind of all that hurts me and my heart. I sometimes wish people could come with user manuals. It would be of great help to know what the other person is coming into my life for. 
I could also benefit from knowing where and how to handle the person. But life isn't that easy right? Well great thinkers and people say that life is as complicated as you make it. Well I guess then this is all my doing...... 
I think I should get back to my studying.... Don't know how I'll dare in my papers today. 

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