Moving On

It has been exactly a week since the world around me turned to dust. There are so many things that I have unable been able to do. For instance, trying to exercise has become excruciating. For instance talking to other people has become a burden. A huge one at that. There is no one I want to talk to. What does one do when they thought one thing about a person, and it turned out to be completely wrong?

I sit awake tonight and all I can think about is what to do now. Is it so easy to move one from someone you were going to wake up next to for the rest of your life? Moving on is still a phenomenon which is alien to me. I refuse to let the other person think I’m pining away for them. When they didn’t want to be with me, why should I give them the benefit of thinking that I do.

This is just a rant, like mentioned several times, through several posts of mine. Let me tell you guys a secret. Any girl who knows what she wants, will seem to be strong and ballsy. She will still know when to bow down to her significant other. If the significant other is unable to make the girl feel like they are wanted, craved, thought of first for the good news and the bad; the girl will doubt his love for her.

I am like a ticking time bomb. I keep thinking when I will go off. When things are going to go downhill. I think I need to be able to scream. I want an operation which enables me to forget everything and move on. Because come on people, why think of someone who isn’t thinking of you. Or someone who went ahead and didn’t want to make things work.

People I need to hear it from people I don’t know at all. Third party view and comments, should a girl keep on bending low for someone who won’t even fight for her.  I need a man who can fight for me. Stick by me through the ups and downs of life. Life isn’t a walk in the park. Even the park has lots of holes, stones and dirt which you need to get through, to get to be on the other side. I want to scream. And tear my memories out of my mind, I need the peace.

I keep coming up short for words. What do I do with my words when both my words and actions don’t mean shit? I need to get away from it all; everything that ever reminds me of the one person I was willing to be with for despite everything. How to move one is the question. I need answers to. I need help, serious help in how to be cavalier with another person’s life. Since I seem to have missed out on the how to let people go.