Shared Pain

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At this very minute I wish I could cry my eyes out... Excuse me for anyone who is being subjected to reading this blog and posting, but at this very minute I'm standing alone. 
I wish I could scream and shout. I wish I could make things easier for me and my life. How is it that I am standing at this place. The world looks like a picture from one of the horror stories. People don't just abuse you, they have a tendency to abuse you. 
How can I hope to amount to something for someone, when someone is not willing to open up. Why is it that we have to fight for the love that we think is for us?? I don't get why love something which is supposedly one of the most beautiful thing in this earth, should be something which brings considerable pain to us....
My pain, my life, my sorrows, my tears, all things bad in my life seem to belong solely to me. There is no one sharing the pain. There is no one who I can feel I can cry infront of. I don't think I have ever had unconditional love. I think u conditional love doesn't exist at all. How long can u stay happy? Is it possible for a person to be happy for a long period of time. 
There are many people in my life who claim to be a part of my life, who claim they are willing and able of making me feel good. 
My question is simple, where are they? Why all the drama? I have never asked anyone to be anything but themselves with me. Sometimes I wish I could disappear. I wish I could scream. I wish I could make life just about me for sometime. 
There are times when I can't even revel in my own pain without thinking about others. Where's the fun in that? Why is that even my pain has to be focused in not hurting others??? 
 

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