The Bermuda Triangle
Honestly speaking I have been a ship wreck for the last whole week. I have started and left around 4 posts incomplete due to how I was feeling. That just makes everything seem worse.... 4 posts is a lot for me to handle... I always feel better when I can write and when doesn't come through for me then I feel as if things will never be right again.
I don't know how to continue this one also. I stop in the middle of a sentence and don't know what to write next or how to even complete a sentence. This had never happened before. And it is bothering the shit out of me. My week has been shit.... Sorry for the repeat of my previous statement but it has been. I have spent the last week thinking and thinking and thinking. I'm an over thinker by nature. To my brain the phrase 'staying busy' doesn't mean a hell whole lot.
There are times when I might be doing the most serious and concentration needed task, and still be thinking about what the real issue in my life is. Let me get to the real reason for feeling shitty.
Ever know what it feels like to have a vacuum in your life???? Anyone? No? Well I do now..... Let me tell you it sucks!!!! There is other way of putting it. Someone once told me that I have the most patience they have ever seen in a person! Hah!!! If they could see my impatience at this current time they would deny they ever said something like that to me at all!!!
I have a huge gaping Bermuda Triangle nature vacuum in my life, my heart, where ever you might think it is appropriate to have such a gaping hole. Please forgive the horrible grammatical and sentence structure errors....... So back to the hole... It hurts like hell... I wouldn't wish this pain upon any of my enemies even. I mean I believe in live and let live, unless someone's life is directly linked to mine and I will be effected by their decisions.
I want the gaping vacuum gone..... Now!!!!!
Anyone who has a solution please do not hesitate to leave their thoughts..... But apart from that I know that I am alone. And who isn't afraid of being alone??? But what surprised me the most is this time around this pain is so raw, so mean, so all consuming that all I can think about is how to get rid of it. And frankly speaking I'm getting a bit irritated about it . It just won't go away.... I have a few choice words I would like to bestow upon the reason for this vacuum. But I can't seem to get the right feeling behind it!!!!
I just want some peace... Or an explanation at the most. It would be appreciated.... And it would help ease the pain a bit. But I seem to be thinking to idealistically and optimistically. Like I said before life sucks and this vacuum sucks even more..... All for now!!! Can't seek to gather the energy to continue.... Sorry to be such a downer/party pooper but that's how it is at the moment.....
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